Am I Worth It?

Tears rolling down my cheek
Wiped the tears,don’t wanna show the world I’m weak
But I’m in pieces,it’s tearing me up
In my throat,I can feel a huge lump
Keeping it all inside me and on my face,just casting a smile
And my eyes screaming for help towards thee
In solitude,not even myself I find who cares about me
Being a masochist,I find relief
The relief of being me
As I scream my lungs out,with tears bursting out
Wondering if there is anyone who loves me
Even if there is,I believe there isn’t
Coz Do I deserve even a little care?
But isn’t life supposed to be fair?
Questioning myself,questioning my worth
With no hope
With no love
With no purpose in life
And if there’s no purpose,what next?
With thoughts like’ I don’t wanna be a burden’
I don’t want to change my thoughts
And even if I want to,I believe it’s hard
I think I’l just kill myself
That’s the best thing now for me
And yes that’s the next step you see.
And so I start taking steps
One by one,on my terrace
And I jump

And all of a sudden I wake up…
I wake up from this nightmare
With tears rolling down my cheek,
With the people I love comforting me and giving me all the love in my dream I sought
And I Hug them all at once without a single thought
We may be trapped in that nightmare which could be our reality
But all others can do,Is just show pity
And it’s we who endure and need to be strong
And abstain from doing anything
Love is always there if it’s we who love ourselves
It might tremble and we may lose not only our minds,but our way
That time all you need to do,is believe
Believe that there is at least one person out there
Who loves and cares for you
Who may be even ready to lose anything
Or lose anyone
And that anyone can never be you.
-Grissel Fernandes

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