People Pleaser? No Please!

It’s human nature to want to be liked, accepted, and loved.

But if you constantly struggle to say NO to others even when every fibre of your being wants to scream “NO I really don’t want to” you probably are a people pleaser. People pleasers need to be liked and accepted to an extent where they simply say YES to everything and end up doing too much for too many people. Most of the times, they know deep down that they are being taken advantage of but they avoid any kind of confrontation.

There’s nothing wrong with being a nice and helpful person. We obviously need more of those in today’s world. But this should never be at the cost of our own well being and peace of mind. People pleasers end up being resentful, over worked and stressed because they don’t acknowledge their own feelings. If you are losing sleep over being the ‘Nice person’ it’s probably time you start saying No Please!

Here are some tips to start living more for yourself and being less of a people pleaser:

Self worth: Improving your self worth begins with building a relationship with yourself. Know that you are enough and that the only acceptance you will ever need is self acceptance. When you have a good sense of who you are, accept and love yourself and build a healthy positive relationship with yourself you are less likely to go looking for acceptance from others. Being liked or disliked by your friends and family won’t be your first priority. Always remember we teach people how to treat us by the behaviour we accept or reject from them.

Learn to say NO: Always acknowledge your feelings and know that you have a choice to say YES or NO. If you are not up for something or have a packed schedule you can always say NO. Saying NO to someone does not make you a bad, unkind or a rude person. You may want to help someone but just not have the time for it right away, and that’s okay.

Find a nice way to say No. The right people will always understand and the ones that give you hard time for it probably aren’t that good for you anyway.

Set boundaries: If you have been a YES person for most part of your life you may realise that you are surrounded by a lot of people who take advantage of your kindness. Know that it is not your sole responsibility to keep everyone around you happy. Learn to set boundaries with people who take advantage of your kind and helpful nature. A lot of them may disappear when you put yourself first and start saying NO when necessary.

Keep in mind that your well being, happiness and peace of mind should always be your first priority.