I HAVE TO SMILE, IT IS MY DUTY

I HAVE TO SMILE , IT IS MY DUTY.

I have to smile, it’s my duty. I know how you feel. i know it all. because there’s a void inside me too. I know it’s hard. people initially, before getting to know ‘bout you always have that mystery or that sweet curiosity and enchantment to know you, more and a little more after more. the time when you let the door open to them, when you finally let them in, to know you, they just…left, left you with another void to endure with, maybe just because you were too good faking and fooling others with that wide bright smile on your face. but hey girl! why are you putting on the trashy mask on your face and pretending to be all okay? don’t you feel that it’s your mistake to pretend yourself to be colorful while you’re just the dusty greys and blues, giving no clues.you should have known! you should have known that people are so much blinded by your mask that they fail to look too deep into you. like an ocean, admiring the beauty just by its surface, the cool breeze or the sun and the moon that makes its more alluring. is an ocean just by its surface? is an ocean just about the view of it just with the sun or the moon that actually stands far to an extent where its near and yet so far but still affects the surface on which it gracefully sheds its radiation and the surface just helplessly accept it. nobody would dive in so deep just to understand whats going on inside you, and who would dive? who would dive into an ocean which has nothing but the cold rock-bottom and nothing else but the ruins of the ships that’s sunk years ago and no longer be fixed. the girl behind the mask feels alone and so used to it that she’s fitting into it comfortably. she’s empty but she puts on her mask just to make others happy but no one knows her pain. she feels worthless and alone asking herself everyday why is she still there. with this, tell me if everything ends because the void inside her gets bigger and bigger unlike her confidence that’s buried 10 feet under. the same feet that can’t get out of the bed. the same bed that gives her pillow to rest her head bursting and which is intervened with her own messy thread. thread of thoughts, thoughts that would never last. though running inside head but ends up choking her. no one would notice since she have unconsciously built the walls so high that’s out of one’s reach and which is dangerous if it falls too. we’re all just too messed up. confused smiles,confused hearts, confused mind, within the confused mankind, by enduring pain and letting go whats gained. gained which was never ours, ours which is always played by the fate. regretting saying it’s too late for me where i find no escape. helplessly or hopelessly all i can do is just smile, cause it’s my duty.

30.10.17
AISHWARYA V ACHARYA